This year is starting out just as I had envisioned it. Undefeated in January* — undefeated for the year. Certainly reason to celebrate.
* I should probably mention here that I did not play any matches in January as I continue my self-imposed sabbatical from the game. Rather, I've been in training. Some running. A bit of skiing. And otherwise being utterly averse to anything beyond sitting in the sun on my balcony.
How should I phrase this? In December, I was less undefeated than I would have liked. In fact, I was less undefeated than at any time in recent memory. In fact, in singles matches I may have been completely defeated. I did, however, make a number of impressive birdie dances at some of the finest golf courses in Southeast Asia.
Did you notice that the birdies come preponderantly on one-shot holes or in pool halls? If you saw my drives this month, you wouldn't be surprised. I was featured prominently in this month's issue of Golf Today magazine, but clearly not for my golfing prowess.
So what lies ahead for 2012? A few visits to the driving range are in order. And I'll be starting with a clean slate, undefeated and untested from 1 January, so this will be another chance for that elusive undeafeted year.
Fifteen countries. Approximately 1091 restaurant meals. The 2011 Sam Khok Awards have arrived. The criteria? I ate here in 2011 and the meal, dish, or drink was worthy of further mention. Without further ado, the awards:
Best pizza - 40's Cafe, Angaston, South Australia. One would not want to take a tour of the Barossa Valley on an empty stomach.
Best restaurant name - Thai Me Up, Coogee Beach, Sydney.
Best goat - Goat served seven different ways at Dalat. Despite a serious effort to try them all, we could only manage four. Well, perhaps not so serious.
Largest oyster - What a year it was for oysters! From Adelaide to Asahikawa and many places in between, I sampled the best oysters in Pranburi, Phuket, Halong Bay, etc. I can't pick a favorite, but I can pick the largest. Chigasaki.
Best red wine - 1996 The Holy Trinity by Grant Burge.
Best champagne - Bollinger. At The Open Championship. Please sir, may I have some more?
Best seafood, Indian - Trishna, Mumbai. First stop for popcorn at the Bombay Gymkhana Club, proceed to Trishna for dinner, then repair to a nearby paanwala for that "addictive and euphoria-inducing" digestif.
Best tandoori cuisine - Bukhara, New Delhi.
Most exotic dish - This is a toss-up between kujira sashimi, kujira bacon, kujira katsu, or sautéed chó. I can't choose just one. You might guess what kujira or chó are, but I'll refrain from further details.
Best smoked meat - Schwartz's. Better than I expected, and I had high expectations. It has been described as a "maddening aphrodesiac." You've probably read Barney's Version. If you haven't, it is a wonderful book.
Best fusion drink - The Jack Daniels ハイボール. The preferred shinkansen drink of 2011. I couldn't decide if I liked this or not, and it came in such an attractive can, so I tasted it multiple times. The verdict: not the best drink, but certainly the best fusion drink.
Best soft cream - The wasabi at Shizuoka, sweet potato at Tochigi, salt at Okinawa, and melon at Hokkaido were all strong contenders in a year punctuated by roadside stops to sample every possible flavor of soft cream, but the winner is the elusive peanut soft cream from Chiba.
Innovation in fast food - McDonald's Big Spicy Paneer Wrap. Just as advertised, big, spicy, wrapped paneer.
The awards could go on, for best genghis khan, best som tam, best kra pao gai kai dao gai sap kai suk, best bibimbap, best Pimms, best tonic wine (Buckfast, obviously), best crab, best poutine, or innumerable other dishes. I'll save those stories for another time, and close with a superb dish that is also contender for best golf course lunch.
Best ramen - The seafood ramen at Hokkaido Brooks Country Club. Absolutely superb. I don't often take videos of my food, unless it is moving. But this ramen was worthy of a video.
Since my last report. Seven more flights. Seven more international airports. Three countries. More birdie dances, to be described in requisite detail in the forthcoming golf report. And the amazing places than one can go by air these days.
Just when I had thought a generous portion of Lay's Lime n' Masala Masti potato chips to be the epitome of flavor, I came across this saucy tomato flavor. Naughty Tomatoes, reads the label, and I felt a bit of a naughty tomato myself as I ate almost the entire bag. So much for my diet.
But I soon took to the air again, back to Thailand where my diet consisted of regular portions of crab, peanuts, soda water, and kra pao gai kai dao gai sap kai suk.
I took a break from air travel on a visit to southern Thailand and the island of Samui, arriving by ferry and making another boat ride across heavy seas to watch the lunar eclipse from Ko Pha Ngan.
And then it was back to flying and the lovely airport at Samui, where one can find popcorn and other delicacies in the expansive open-air terminal.
December in the clement weather of the tropics, after a long year of travel – 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.
How should I describe another undefeated month? A birdie dance in front of the Barah-Khamba is a good way to start.
I was at sixteen golf courses across India this month but I only played one round, a match at the historic Delhi Golf Club that ended, mercifully, on the 14th hole.
Then it was off to Mumbai, avoiding elephants on the roads of Tamil Nadu, searching for gaurs at Kodaikanal, and staring down a wild boar in the midnight mists of the Palni Hills. But I digress. My record in November was one win and zero losses. In short, another unblemished record on the course.
In a year full of birdie dances, this was surely the most daring. Would you dance at the edge of a balustrade-free domed Mughal tomb at twilight? I didn't think so. But I did, for I'd made five 15-foot putts in a row at the Putting Studio, and a crepuscular visit to the Lodhi Course at Dehli Golf Club provided the perfect opportunity to celebrate such an astonishing feat.
What is perhaps more remarkable is that I made those putts with a loaned putter, no warm-up, and in front of a rapt audience. I went on to play a round at the Lodhi Course yesterday, and the details can wait, but suffice it to say that I remain undefeated on the Subcontinent.
I'm here conducting a greenkeeper education program for the Indian Golf Union. One can view a selection of photos taken during this education program below.
But there is a lot more to this trip than greenkeeper education and birdie dances.
How about a Big Spicy Paneer Wrap at McDonalds? Delicious and a top candidate for a Sam Khok Award in December. How about chicken tikka and tandoori gobhi with naan and roti? Also in contention for a Sam Khok Award.
The Sam Khok Awards, of course, need little introduction. You will recall a Sam Khok Award as that prestigious distinction of being selected as one of the best dishes I've had, or best restaurant at which I have dined, during the year. Selecting the most toothsome morsels from approximately 1091 restaurant meals this year will not be easy when there are so many worthy candidates. The 2011 Sam Khok Awards will be announced in December.
I'm happy to report that Kolkata and New Delhi have been salubrious. The days – cerulean; the nights – here I foreshadow an astonishing incident – sublime. And the breakfasts have been quite good. How about mango juice and a masala dosa? Wikipedia tells me this makes the list of the World's 50 most delicious foods.
I'm here for a training program about grass. This report on the program from The R&A gives an overview of what they term a Pioneering Greenkeeper Education Programme.
The programme includes classroom and field training sessions, with the objective being to improve, in the long-term, the playing conditions on golf courses across India and the broader subcontinent.
The week's training ends with an exam, for which I am the invigilator, and then it is off to the next city for another week of the same. Last night we finished the training programme and ended up at a Papa CJ show at the Tollygunge Club. And then we went for a drink, under a large tree. The Tolly's grounds, originally an indigo plantation established in 1781, provide a sanctuary for many exotic birds. I knew it was time for bed when effluence from one of those birds made its way to my shoulder, which you can see adumbrated here.
This month I continued my research for the 2011 Sam Khok Awards. Eight flights, five countries, one cancelled flight, two evacuations of flooded Bangkok, and the nice view above of Bangsai CC and the former ATC Research Facility surrounded by floodwaters in Ayuddhaya.
I stuck to my vicinal diet this month, too, no juxtapositions -- phở at Hanoi, som tam at Bangkok, udon at Tokyo, Michael's Grill and Taqueria in Pacific Grove, and cognac on Thai Airways.
The question of reading lists came up in a conversation last evening. Considering that my experience with contemporary and historical literature is both extensive and peculiar, let me take this opportunity to list some fine books.
